Reduce Stress + Savor Your Healthiest Life: Insights from my Journey into a World of Scary Unknowns-Breast Cancer Awareness Month-
Prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer, I thought breast cancer awareness month was simply a reminder to check for lumps in the shower.
By the time I discovered a lump in my own breast the cancer had already spread throughout the whole breast and lymph nodes, requiring a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and 5 years of hormone suppressant treatment.
I was in shock. How could this happen to ME?
I had always prided myself on my healthy lifestyle of exercising regularly and eating well so it wasn’t immediately obvious to me what I was doing (or not doing) to incite my cells to mutate and grow out of control.
As I searched for answers, it became clear that chronic stress played a primary role in my body's diminished ability to ward off cancer.
For over a decade I've lived with a ridiculous amount of stress trying to raise two kids on my own, run a business and navigate an emotionally tumultuous relationship.
I didn't realize the impact those years of stress had on my body in weakening my immune system, inciting chronic inflammation, and causing hormonal changes that compromised cell growth and repair. The perfect conditions for cancer to develop.
Below I've compiled a few insights gleaned from my journey into a world of scary unknowns. My hope is that what I’ve discovered can help you in substantially diminishing stress and increasing your overall health and well-being too.
#1 Mindset
For as long as I can remember I've had a “no safety net” mindset. When you don't feel as though you can trust others to catch you when you fall, you move through the world with extra caution.
My preoccupation with ensuring my safety kept me in a perpetual state of stress and hindered my ability to fully enjoy the present moment.
That is, until I was diagnosed with cancer.
Anticipating the worst case scenario no longer made me feel wise + prepared. It made me feel panic. For my sanity, I had to find a way to find peace in the present.
I began to dismantle the limiting beliefs that were unconsciously fueling my stress by encouraging myself to anticipate the best case scenario, trust in my ability to successfully navigate future problems, challenge the validity of my perceptions (i.e. “stories”) that are me causing stress, rely on others' promises to help me, focus on the upside of my perceived failures, and transform my pain into something meaningful.
A mindset fueled by high vibrational thoughts + emotions motivates you to make healthier choices, boosts your immunity, builds resilience, improves pain tolerance, decreases stress, and increases the likelihood you’ll attain what you want most in life.
Consider:
When you make a mistake how do you talk to and/or treat yourself? How does that serve you?
When your mind “time travels” to another time and place, does it add to or reduce your stress?
Do you tend to look for glimmers of hope in a situation or reasons to doubt? How does either choice protect you?
#2 Boundary Setting
When life’s chaos strikes, some of the people we hold dearest turn out to be our biggest disappointments. It took getting cancer to realize that my time and energy is a precious resource that does not need to be given to those who are neither willing or able to give back.
In hindsight, I knew those relationships were imbalanced, but I was so used to the “give a lot - take a little” dynamic that I felt selfish and afraid of what would happen if I advocated for myself.
Once I learned I had cancer I had no more f**ks to give anyone. For the first time in my life I felt the power to say no to anything that didn't serve or support me. It felt like a superpower. While a few relationships did come to an unfortunate end, it made room for new relationships that have provided more nourishment than I ever thought I could have.
When boundaries are too loose we can take on the burden of the other person. But boundaries can also be too rigid, shutting out the healthy intimacy that is essential for receiving support when needed most.
If you’re like me your boundaries are both too loose and too rigid. Overextending yourself to help others, while not allowing yourself to receive help when offered is a recipe for chronic stress that can lead to severe illness overtime.
Consider:
Are there people in your life who take more than they give? If so, what does this do for you?
Do you discourage or allow others to help you? How does that work in your favor?
How comfortable do you feel asking for help with legitimate needs? How often are you needs legitimate?
#3 Overworking + Under Self Caring
The idea that I need to be hard at work between the hours of 9a + 6p has plagued me my entire working life. If I started late, ended early or focused on anything other than work during work hours, I felt like a slacker who was unworthy of play.
And because I failed at it more often than not, I rarely enjoyed my downtime without the use of mind numbing substances.
To make matters worse, my workday bled into my evening routine with the kids, leaving me with only a sliver of time for myself each day anyway.
After my diagnosis I began to take daily walks in nature. It was the only activity that kept me sane in those early days when so much was still unknown. The guilt I felt for replacing work with self care was overshadowed by my pressing need to reduce the overwhelming anxiety I was experiencing.
The relief I felt after each walk was palpable and kickstarted within me a drive to find more ways to reduce stress. I began exploring + incorporating various healing modalities into my weekly schedule such as breathwork, EFT tapping, psilocyben, reiki, acupuncture, sound baths, kundalini, ketonah + restorative yoga, cranial-sacral massage, and lavender infused bubble baths.
For the first time in my life I was prioritizing my personal well-being and it felt delicious. As I quit the habit of filling every minute with the next do-or-die task, my workload naturally decreased, leaving ample space for daily self care.
Consider:
How much time is devoted to self care each day? What keeps you from adding more?
How do you relax when you're feeling stressed? Does this match your ideal? Why or why not?
Do these activities rejuvenate you, or leave you feeling the same, or worse the next day?
#4: Unprocessed Emotions
Shortly after my diagnosis, I signed up for a psilocyben assisted therapy session. Psilocyben is known for its ability to unearth unprocessed thoughts + feelings that may be unconsciously impacting us in unhealthy ways.
As I sat in the dark waiting for the medicine to work its magic I began to feel extreme discomfort followed by overwhelming grief. I thought I had already processed my emotions surrounding cancer, but there were clearly more that I was unknowingly stuffing.
The immense clarity and compassion I experienced after processing stuck emotions gave me the confidence to continue uprooting unprocessed emotions that have been residing in my body for years. Through trauma focused therapies like EFT tapping, breathwork & somatic therapy I've experienced the freedom + discernment that I've always dreamt possible but couldn't attain.
Everyone lives with some degree of unprocessed emotions that consciously and unconsciously impact our mindset, immunity, mental + physical health, relationships, sleep, choices, and chronic inflammation. But with the right tools painful emotions can be felt and processed with ease and clarity.
Consider:
Do you notice your mind often wanders to the same time, place, person?
Are there certain memories or thoughts you avoid because they trigger discomfort?
Have you detected an unexplained hesitation in pursuing your goals?
If you suspect any of the above areas are affecting your overall health, please don’t hesitate to seek assistance. Our experienced therapists can offer the support and guidance you need to reduce stress and savor your healthiest life.
