Want to Experience More Love? Take this Couple Quiz
I want to gift you and your partner an experience of deepening the love and intimacy that you already share. When we slow down and share with them what they already do that nurtures us in feeling loved and cared for, it not only informs them how we receive love, but it also encourages them to continue doing those things that light us up.
We grow much more from praise, appreciation, and gratitude than complaining. When you see the best in your partner and celebrate it in them, it inspires them to do more. In consciously cultivating these qualities in your relationship, you add to your relational bank account and can lean on it at times you need it most.
The questions below are designed to inspire a genuine, heartfelt conversation filled with flirtation and play to spice things up in your relationship.
Here’s what to do:
Print two copies of the questions below + bring it with you on a date - either out for a nice dinner, create a special environment at home with a glass of wine + a fire, or a romantic picnic with candles in the backyard... however you connect most with your sweetie. Make sure to each have a pen and watch the magic unfold!
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Fill Part I out separately, then share with each other one line at a time, going back and forth, pausing to make sure you take it all in.
Part I
What are at least 3 specific things your partner already does that makes you feel loved, nurtured, and appreciated? What do you interpret their behavior to mean to you? How do you feel when they do this?
Ex: I feel most loved when you make me breakfast, and I’m in a hurry.
Ex: I feel so taken care of when you randomly put gas in my car.
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Read and fill out Part II together…
Part II
What is your Love Language? I’m sure by now you’ve heard of author Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Languages of Love”, where he shares that there are 5 main ways we give + receive love and that each way is like a completely different dialect. You could be speaking Spanish and your partner French and saying nice things to each other, but not quite connecting.
For example, your partner may think that bringing you flowers is a big deal and although you may like that, for you it means the world when he takes quality time during the day to truly connect and be together.
In order to experience more intimacy, we need to speak each other’s language. Most of us probably enjoy all the ways of giving + receiving love but 1 or 2 of them are your primary ones.
Let’s see if learning about the love languages below can help you discover you and your partner’s way of relating.
Languages Of Love
1. Words of Affirmation – Compliments mean the world to this person. Hearing the reasons behind why someone loves them lights them up! On the other hand, insults may crush them and are not easy to forget.
2. Quality Time – The best way to show this person “I love you” is in giving them your full attention and undivided presence. Spending time with them at a picnic or at an event makes them feel truly special and loved.
3. Receiving Gifts – This love language is not about materialism; the receiver appreciates the thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. It shows them you care for them and think of them when you are apart.
4. Acts of Service – Anything you do that lightens the burden of responsibilities for someone with this love language, speaks volumes to them. Alleviating their load or providing assistance is highly valued. The words he or she most wants to hear are: “Let me do that for you.”
5. Physical Touch – It's not all about the bedroom. Physical touch can range from hugs to pats on the back and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face. You could be verbally communicating how much you care for someone with this language but giving him or her a shoulder rub is received louder than words!
What do you think your love language is?
What do you think your partner's love language is?
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Fill it out Part VI separately, then surprise them by doing it later!
Part III
List 3 ways you could express love using your partner’s love language:
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Interested in strengthening and deepening your most important relationship?
We offer two options for couples therapy:
Traditional Couples Therapy Session: A couples therapy session is a traditional 50 min talk therapy session designed to discuss relationship challenges and offer solutions. You can schedule as many or as few as needed.
The Sacred Union Package: The Sacred Union Package includes 15 - 80 minutes sessions. It is a structured program designed to create connection, foster communication, heal inner wounding and deepen emotional and sexual intimacy using tantric practices. This program offers live facilitation as well as take home exercises. Customized weekly action plans, homework assignments and mid-week check-ins are included.
Want to learn more? Schedule your free consultation today.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”- Lao Tzu -
